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Clinical Sexual Intimacy Protocols

Clinical Sexual Intimacy Protocols

At-Home Clinical Protocols

“What are At-Home Clinical Protocols and what problems do they address?”

At-Home Clinical Protocols are clinical sex therapy “sensate-focus” exercises that we have Christianized that lead married couples step-by-step to deal with desire discrepancies between them or infuse marriage intimacy with having sex God’s way (oneness, playfulness, romance and passion) which is called “Divine Desire.” The protocols are designed for a couple to enjoy three “sensate focus” experiences—also referred to in our Christian sexual intimacy ministry as “Intimacy Experiences”—each week. We’ll also give you personal Intimacy Experiences you’ll do with the Lord because it’s impossible to enjoy the fullness of intimate “oneness” with your spouse if you’re not intimately “one” with the Lord.

We also have a premarital preparation protocol called “Divine Desire for Engaged Couples”. You’ll learn how to become appropriately intimate spiritually, physically and emotionally before marriage and bring your whole being alive, including your sexuality after marriage. You will learn how to lay a strong foundation for a lifetime of amazing sex and oneness the way the Lord designed.

“What is the benefit of doing an At-Home Clinical Protocols as opposed to meeting face-to-face with a counselor?”

At-Home Clinical Protocols are designed for couples for whom committing to a series of sessions with a counselor is not practical for any number of reasons, including finances, schedules, logistics or practicality.

While At-Home Clinical Protocols cannot, by their very nature, provide all the benefits of meeting face-to-face with a counselor (nor are they designed for couples facing major unresolved trauma), they offer their own unique advantages, including affordability and convenience. Our protocols include an average of 40 to 60 hours of guided self-study Intimacy Experiences at a fraction of the cost of face-to-face ministry with us. Plus, couples can proceed at their own pace and around their own schedules.

Finally, At-Home Clinical Protocols are often the most practical approach, offering a level of solution well-matched to the level of a couple’s sexual issues. Certainly, there are couples for whom sexual dysfunction is deeply rooted in trauma; in these cases, you can come to Colorado and do a couple’s Christian sexual intimacy ministry intensive with us doing Christian Mind-Body Work to address the trauma so you can move forward when you return home. Many couples, however, want to bring their desire and spiritual, physical,  emotional and sexual intimacy to a new level the Lord’s way, so they don’t need that level of intervention. For these couples, Clinical Study-at-Home Protocols offer the right solution at the right price.

“You mentioned that your Protocols include ‘sensate focus’ exercises. What are these?”

The term “sensate focus” was introduced by sex researchers Masters and Johnson, referring to exercises designed to increase awareness of your own sexuality, as well as that of your spouse. “Sensate focus” consists of specific exercises targeting specific sexual dysfunctions. During the exercises, both husband and wife are encouraged to focus on what they are experiencing through their five senses, rather than concentrating on orgasm as the primary goal of sex. We make these exercises spiritually relevant to Christian couples and God’s design for “oneness” in marriage.

Sensate focus exercises are clinical in nature and are prescribed by all virtually all sex therapists. In a classic therapeutic session, a sex therapist will assign sensate focus exercises for a couple to complete at home. The couple will then return the following week and report on how these exercises went. The sex therapist will adapt or alter the exercise to personalize them to the couple’s triggers so they can try it again at home. We show you how to adapt the Intimacy Experiences in our Study-at-Home Divine Desire Protocols (both married and engaged) in case either spouse/fiance is experiencing negative responses. In the process of doing a sensate focus exercise, each person is encouraged to increase his/her awareness and enjoyment of his/her spouse’s body, and not focus on pleasing the other, including details such as their scent, the texture of their skin, and focus on the things about your spouse that turn you on, which helps you to embrace your arousal. Each participant should be guided by his/her own interest and enjoyment, rather than trying to guess what is enjoyable to his/her spouse. In these kinds of exercises, intercourse is typically not allowed, nor is focusing on breasts or genitals—at least at the beginning. We help you to build a foundation of “oneness” and making love God’s way at first and then we gradually introduce the breasts, genitals and finally the most glorious kind of intercourse: communing spiritually, emotionally and physically while receiving pleasure. Sensate focus exercises are historically created by Masters and Johnson as a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy in which couples can learn and implement new behaviors.

We use these sensate focus exercises in our protocols; however Bill has combined his spiritual formation education with Janean’s education in Christian sex therapy to create highly spiritual protocols with a strong emphasis on building intimacy with the Lord along with being intimate with your spouse. We made these Intimacy Experiences romantic, passionate, erotic and playful as well!

 “How will completing protocols improve our love life?”

In addition to helping you increase or enhance sexual desire in your marriage or future marriage (such as preparing for a sexually-satisfying marriage), Clinical At-Home Protocols offer other benefits as well. Here are a few of the benefits you can expect to experience:

  • Transition from performance to pleasure: The sensate focus exercises in the protocols will encourage you and your spouse to shift the “purpose” of sexual intimacy away from the achievement of orgasms and towards the big O, which the Lord tells us is “oneness.” You’ll also get to discover and enjoy your own pleasure and that of your spouse. This occurs as each of you are guided to, temporarily, focus less on the body parts responsible for orgasm and more on the sensual delights of experiencing your spouse’s entire being in both the comforting familiar ways and the exciting unfamiliar ways.
  • New appreciation for expanded sensual possibilities: Another benefit you and your partner will experience is a new appreciation for a whole new set of sensual possibilities. Our protocols incorporate an array of verbal and nonverbal communication—talking, praying, sharing emotions, touching, kissing, expressing emotions and more—through which you will both experience the kind of sexual intimacy that many Christian couples behold — sensual, transcendent moments of ecstasy where you can glimpse the beauty of God and each other.
  • Less anxiety and a better sex life: As lovers complete each sensate focus exercise, research shows they often report an improvement in their sex life, as well as lower anxiety in general.
  • Faster return to healthy sexual functioning: The more participants say they have experienced new awareness of the holistic sensual aspects of sex, the greater return of healthy sexual functioning.
  • Increase in romance, passion, eroticism and playfulness: For our clients, we have combined sensate focus exercises into well-rounded protocols that incorporate dynamics we believe are critical, including romance, passion, eroticism, fun and playfulness.
  • Healing through the breaking of soul-ties and strongholds: Our protocols offer the added benefit of Christian-Mind-Body Work, prayer, contemplation, breaking soul ties (with people, pets, organizations, technology or things), and breaking lies, vows and agreements that have given the enemy a stronghold in your life and marriage. As Christians we believe the Lord is the agent of change and healing and we have designed these protocols around every opportunity to invite Him in to do so.
  • Increased intimacy with God: Finally, participating in any of our protocols will encourage both you and your spouse to experience greater intimacy with God. Together we have designed these protocols to be spiritual in nature with a strong emphasis on building intimacy with the Lord as well as with your spouse.

“Is the Clinical At-Home Protocol done completely on our own or can it also be done in the context of working with you or my own counselor?”

Be aware that these Protocols, as self-study resources for use at home, cannot provide all the benefits of Christian Mind-Body Work, nor the guidance and encouragement that talk therapy does in marriage counseling sessions. These Protocols are designed to help couples who have minor issues. They are not designed to resolve major unresolved trauma for either you or your spouse.

If, in the process of doing a Clinical At-Home Protocol, you and your spouse experience a road block for any reason (including unresolved trauma they may have popped up), you have several options: You can schedule an Intensive with us to do the Christian Mind-Body Work to address and resolve the hindering factors, or if we are not available, we can refer you to another Christian, Mind-Body practitioner who is familiar with our Protocol to help you as you continue to move forward doing the Protocol at home. Be aware that unless a mental health counselor has had specific clinical training and certification in sex therapy, he or she is not qualified to work with sexual dysfunctions. They can however, address other issues (PTSD, communication, codependency, addictions and more) that are responsible for roadblocks to moving forward.

DISCLAIMER: The information you obtain at this website is for informational purposes only and is not, nor is it intended to be, advice from a psychotherapist. Your use of this website does not create a counselor or ministry-client relationship between you and Bill and Janean Fuller at New Covenant GraceLife Ministries. Please call 911 if you have a mental health emergency. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. However, contacting us does not create a counselor or ministry-client relationship between us. A formal engagement mutually agreed upon between both of us needs to be established first. Please be aware that any information transmitted electronically may not be secure and is not confidential. Any links from this website to other sites are not intended to be endorsements of the linked resources. All client testimonials are personal experiences with our ministry, and are not meant to guarantee that the results would be the same for every person.

 

 

 

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